1st day without him...................

After blocking him, i didnt feel better..... I feel more worst than before...... But i have to do that......... If not, i will feel more xinku............. I cant tahan anymore......... sometimes, i will unblock him...... and then block him again..... Siwei say he still like me..... But i really cant accept his heart have ****........... Today is the 1st day without chating with him......... I really feel very deppress........... Even i laugh in school, but my heart still hurt......... I really dont know wad to do........ I need to be busy only wont think of him.... If i free or nothing to do, i will think of him.... But i always force myself not to think of him.......... N this problem really affect my studies..... I always write his name in my text book...... sejarah text book, geografi text book ETC........... Why the god have to play me out? Today is rainy day, feel not good at all................ * sigh * I will stop this if i totally forget about him........ i still dont have the yong qi to chat or talk to him............. If i let him go, i will feel xinku........ If i dont let him go, i will xinku too...... T.T..... God, please make me forget about him as fast as you can......... He only know how to say sry for hurting u.... i dont want to accept his apologize......... I bad mood so i ponteng ICTL class.......... haiz..... I hope the teacher wont write any letters to my parents...... But i dont care anymore...... Even my parents scold or beat me, i wont feel the pain...... Cuz nothing can be more painful than losing the one u loves........ I decide, i will try my best to laugh or smile in front of my friends, and try to forget about him....................... Nobody can help me to escape pain feelings...... I wont let my friends worry about me................ God, please........ please......... please........ Let me forget him..... Please, i beg you........ i want this painful feelings to dissapear......... I dont want this feelings to come back anymore........... i dont wan to couple anymore......... I dont want to like anyone anymore.......... I will erase the name in my text book after i forget him........ But bao jeff and kreeshvwar keep on teasin me and mention his name in front of me, make me really wanna cry...... If now, let me hear his name...... My tears will roll down itself.............. Please...... Please...... god, leave me alone........ Dont play the fool with me................... PLEASE, I BEG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!